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Thursday, Oct 13, 1904: Volpe’s Grocery
After breakfast with Dale, I ran to Volpe’s Grocery to buy
bananas for the day. I brought a bag with me with the intention of buying 14
bananas. This would save me trips back and forth to the store during the day.
Mr. Volpe said, “Kid, I can’t sell you 14 bananas, or
I won’t have any left for my regular customers. I
can give you one bunch of about seven bananas.” I could see Mr. Volpe wasn’t
going to budge, so I asked Mr. Volpe if he could sit on the bench outside for a
bit so we could discuss it.
1.
g. (FANBOYS) Both clauses can stand alone as independent
sentences, so I added a comma before or.
After we sat on the bench, I asked Mr. Volpe if there was a
way we could work things out. He explained he had to take care of his regular
customers first, or he would risk losing them as they would go to another store
next time if he didn’t have the fruit they wanted. He would lose not only the
banana sales, but he would lose the rest of the customer’s order, too. I could
see his point, so I asked if there was something else we could do. For today,
he said, I could buy seven bananas and seven apples. This seemed like a
reasonable compromise, so I readily agreed to that, but I had bigger plans.
Mr. Volpe, I said, “Can you tell me how you purchase your
fruit each day?” He said at the end of each day, a
messenger boy took an order to Giovanni’s, and the order would be
delivered early the next morning. “Mr. Volpe,” I said, “How much do you pay for
each banana?” He paused a second and told me they were two cents apiece, and he
sold them for three cents. I thought for a bit and asked, “What if I ordered
fruit the day before?”
2.
g. If you have extra information in a sentence, the
information should be separated by commas. Added a comma after day.
Mr. Volpe told me that would help but
what if I did not show up
because of a severe rainstorm or something. That could easily happen as
it often rained in New York City that time of year. He would be left with extra
fruit that would spoil if I didn’t come. I was starting to understand his
concerns, and suspected he had some fruit spoil every day because he wanted to
have enough for his regular customers.
3.
g. (FANBOYS) The highlighted phrase cannot stand
alone as a sentence. Therefore, I deleted the comma before the pink word.
I told Mr. Volpe I was not going to be a fourteen banana man
for long, and soon, I would like to get more
fruit from him each day. I explained I wanted a harmonious relationship with
him, which would be honest and beneficial for both of us. Just then, a customer
came, and I heard Mr. Volpe greet her by name, and they spoke for a while in
the store before they came back out. I thought hard while they were talking.
4.
g. Interjections, like this one, are set apart
by commas.
5.
In this case, if the comma is not added after
soon, then the next clause could not stand alone as a sentence. Then, all
commas in the sentence would need to be removed.
When he came out, I asked Mr. Volpe if he could order more
fruit each day if he knew I was a guaranteed buyer. He said he could do that
without a problem if I paid him in advance. I readily agreed to that and handed
him 42 cents for the next day’s order. He smiled at
me, and he told me I could have my fruit
today since I was now a regular customer.
6.
I added a comma after me as I wanted to
emphasize the smiling. I added “he” to make the next clause able to stand on
its own as a sentence. Without this change, the comma after me would not be
allowed.
Then a thought flashed into my mind, and I asked Mr. Volpe
if I could someday order 140 pieces of fruit a day. He said, “Why certainly, give
me a few days to set it up with Giovanni’s so he can buy from his suppliers.”
Then I asked if we could negotiate the price a bit since he would have a
guaranteed sale, and he would not have to
spend time stocking his store. He told me that if I bought 100 pieces of fruit,
he got a discount from his supplier for all his fruit that day, so he could
sell it to me for 2 ½ cents apiece. We shook on it, and I went off to Wall
Street to make my sales for the day. I felt happy because Mr. Volpe and I
worked out a deal that was beneficial for both of us.
7.
Added “he” so the clause would be able to stand
alone as a sentence. Because of this, we can add a comma before and. This gives
a chance for a breath in a long sentence.
I had a hard time selling fruit today since it was raining.
There was also more shouting on the street than yesterday, and I suspected
there was something going on with the stock market. Finally, I made my sales
and went to the YMCA with $0.98 in my pocket.
8.
g. changed as to since.
When I got back to the YMCA, Dale asked me about my day, and I told him everything that had happened. He asked
me if I knew the difference between my customers and Mr. Volpe’s customers. I thought about it, and said Mr. Volpe knew his
customers’ names. They were not really customers at all, they were friends.
Dale didn’t say a word, but gave me a look that said there should be more.
9.
g. (FANBOYS) Both clauses can stand alone as independent
sentences, so I added a comma after the pink word.10. g. If you have extra information in a sentence, the information should be separated by commas.
I exclaimed, “They aren’t buying food from Mr. Volpe, they
are buying Mr. Volpe because they feel like a family member!” Right then, I resolved to learn all my customer’s
names and treat them like my brothers and sisters.
11. g. Changed period to exclamation point to match “I exclaimed.”
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