Keep your Writer's Voice!

A writer's voice is their personal writing style. Proofreaders correct for grammar and punctuation and may also suggest minor word changes. Editors may suggest restructuring sentences, or they may suggest rewriting sentences. Overzealous editors change so much, the writer doesn't recognize the sentences.

In my opinion, the changes should be large enough to fix what is incorrect and the changes should be small enough, so the writer won't notice where the changes were made.

Which of these sentences fulfill the criteria? 

1. “Mr. Volpe,” I said, “How much do you pay for each banana?” He paused a second and told me they were two cents apiece, and he sold them for three cents.

2. “Mr. Volpe,” I asked, “how much do you pay for each banana?” He paused a second and told me they were two cents apiece, and he sold them for three cents.

3. He paused a second, told me they cost him two cents apiece, and he sold them for three cents.

4. After pausing for a second he said, "They cost me two cents apiece, but I sell them for three cents."

 

5."Two cents."

Where is the comma error? There is at least one!